Reflecting on Generational Patterns by Michelle Chua

​Since July, the month he transitioned 17 years ago, to his bEARTHday yesterday, I've felt my dad's presence more strongly--from seeing his name, Milo, boldly painted on rocks I passed while hiking or biking in different places in nature to a physical injury that called me to look deeper into my energetic predisposition (as I believe that physical dis-ease is often a symptom of energetic imbalance).  I got to thinking about how alike my dad and I are, despite the walls we built between us during his human being.  I've been feeling more and more the strength of the bridges he's been building from the other side, from his greater knowing, as a call to healing patterns.

The pandemic and other recent awakening events may have spurred many of us into profound introspection, questioning lifelong or generational patterns--from spoken and unspoken worldwide traditions to personal triggers and emotional reactions.  And how we may blindly perpetuate patterns that continue to harm--from disciplining children by instilling guilt and shame to constantly comparing yourself to others to deem your worthiness.  But how empowering it can be to notice, to become aware.  To realize that no matter how long "it's always been done this way," we can choose to not become a slave to those patterns.  We can choose to forgive and to heal ourselves, those before us and those after us, realizing there's so much interconnection. 

Those darn emotions I sometimes condemn myself for having, like anger, resentment, fear and shame, are all tools for healing--because they provide awareness.  And with awareness, comes choice. Go back to the norm, just because it's familiar (even if you were suffering) or evolve into the unknown, with trust that you are inherently part of a Greater Knowing.  

After all, yoga is ultimately a path to Self-realization, or union with our true nature--the eternal part of ourselves that's beyond generations of imprinting and our habits.  It's the limitless Self that transcends the boundaries of fear: pure love.

Thank you, Dad, for the bright light you shine.  
Camilo Ngayan Chua  11/16/48 - 7/19/03

Hiking Topanga Overlook, October 2020