Negative Emotions as Teachers by Michelle Chua

This was an intense moment, even though it was performance-based.  I had to conjure up real thoughts that elicited true raw fear, the role I was dancing.  And while dancing, shaking, running and screaming can be helpful outlets to channel stress impulses, can we stay a moment and lean into what's there--what's really alive in us--before trying to rid ourselves of it?  Because, as with every earth experience, I believe, there's value in this pause and introspection toward our awakening from the sleep of our conditioning, i.e., the should's/shouldn'ts of how to be human.  

Being vulnerable is something I've long been trained to avoid, having found myself already categorized as the weaker underdog in so many contexts growing up as a petite female immigrant with a heavy "un-American" accent in LA.  And so, in building my internal defenses to feel stronger than I was perceived, my inner sergeant developed such competitive harsh mantras, like, "You need to show you're worthy.  Do more!  Always be productive and on the go!  Don't let them beat you.  You need to prove yourself!"  I've learned that repeated thoughts become beliefs, even if they're not truth but merely tainted perception, sometimes born out of insecurities.  

But as yoga has taught, while movement is important, stillness and deep listening are gold, too.  Self-inquiry that questions my long-held beliefs has been essential to help unveil illusions I've developed as barbed wire around my heart; The barbed wire helped me feel tough but didn't give room to expand beyond the limiting familiar.  It takes courage to sit with the discomfort of emotional pain, but in doing so with love, we can deconstruct the hurtful thoughts that imprison us.  Moreover, we can realistically approach the yogic practice of pradipaksha bhavanam, or transforming negative thoughts into their opposite, without spiritual bypassing and ignoring that there's any internal disturbance altogether.  

If you're feeling called to explore this courageous inner work, it will be the focus of our Zoom workshop, Transform Obstacles into Opportunity (Tools for Clarity), Thursday, 12/17 @6-7pm PST. Learn more or request a recording of the workshop here.