7 Mindtraps: Stress Relief from Mental Patterns, by Michelle Chua

Do you ever suffer from nagging thoughts that just disturb your inner peace?  
 
It may fit into one of the seven categories of mental patterns that exacerbate stress and pain, identified as “mindtraps” in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, written by Bob Stahl and Elisha Goldstein.  In understanding these common mental habits, we can apply the yogic practice of svadhyaya, or self-study, to cultivate loving self-awareness and remember that we don’t have to believe every though that arises.  As we shed light on such repetitive thoughts and their effects, we can consciously choose what thoughts to feed with our attention and those we can release or change.  Thus, we can skillfully train our minds toward inner peace.
 
Here is a brief explanation of the 7 Mindtraps and ways to address them:

1. Emphasizing the Negative and Discounting the Positive – This is when the judgment or critical mind alters your perception to look for flaws and what you might deem unfavorable, even when you’re having a good time.  For example, after savoring an amazing meal, you might think, “This was delicious, but the plate didn’t look very nice.”  Such a tendency can contribute to anxiety and depression.  Instead, you might consciously train your mind to recognize what you are grateful for.   
2. Negative Self-Talk – This is the dominant voice of the inner critic that may constantly judge you or deem you unworthy. For example, as you’re trying to establish a new habit of practicing yoga each morning, you might think, “I can’t do this.  I’m not disciplined enough to stay consistent.  I’ll never be able to meditate regularly.”  This habit of self-criticism can contribute to fear and procrastination and gradually develop into shame and insecurity.  An antidote is to practice treating thoughts as mental events, not facts. You can also use loving kindness meditations to cultivate self-compassion and repeat heartfelt positive affirmations to help rewire your subconscious mind. 
3. Should’s – This is the pattern of constantly comparing yourself to others or to external standards.  It also includes “shoulding” on others, or repeatedly measuring others to your expectations.  It can build a feeling of guilt and stress when you don’t live up to your adopted expectations, and it can cause you anger and resentment when others don’t live up to them.  Instead, you might try practicing switching from judging to understanding, as my Yoga Psychology teacher, Ashley Turner, prompts.  Plant and water the inner seed of compassionate understanding, using metta, or loving kindness, meditation and learning to forgive yourself and others.
4. Catastrophizing – This is the tendency to imagine the worst possible outcome or worst-case scenario, even in the midst of having a great time.  This can result in anxiety, fear and panic attacks.  As Byron Katie teaches, you might counter this impulse by questioning the thought’s validity, “Is this true?”  Also, you can practice various mindfulness meditations to cultivate clear seeing and present moment awareness. 
5. Mind Reading – This is the habit of convincing yourself you know what other people are thinking without actual proof. Such a cycle contributes to negative self-talk, anxiety and depression and can poison relationships by projecting our insecurities onto others and acting from our assumptions.  This might sound like, “They didn’t reply to my email just now.  They think horribly of me.”  Instead, try learning to cultivate peace within uncertainty and adopting the Zen practice of mentally addressing such thoughts with, “Maybe so. Maybe not.” Also, as Don Miguel Ruiz explains in The Four Agreements for inner peace, don’t take things personally.
6. The Eternal Expert – This is a righteous attitude of being constantly on-guard.  This thinking has attributes of perfectionism, narcissism and arrogance and is an attempt to “feel better than” others, setting them up to fail. It might sound like a compounding criticism of others around you.  Often such pompousness is used as a mask for low self-esteem.  Causing defensiveness, this mental pattern can undermine relationships, making it difficult to admit fault and resolve conflicts.  Instead, it may help to cultivate humility and practice seeing things from others’ perspectives.  You might also try So Hum meditation, which is a remembering of our interconnectedness and interbeing. 
7. Blaming – This is the habit of holding others responsible for our pain or holding ourselves responsible for others’ pain. It contributes to resentment or guilt and codependence.  In giving away our sense of control, it can lead to anxiety and stress.  Instead, take responsibility for what happens in your own life.  Mantras that affirm your sense of agency can be helpful.  A constant practice of forgiveness meditation helps cultivate inner freedom.  

 
May this brief glimpse into possible mental patterns provide personal insight towards self-liberation. While this is only from one source, perhaps it sparks more self-inquiry to dive deeper into your own mind’s tendencies. One of my favorite quotes from The Yoga Sutras is “The mind is the ground for both bondage and liberation.” Understanding the patterns in our minds is a doorway to freeing ourselves from unnecessary suffering.  As Lao Tzu was quoted for saying, “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”  

---

Dive deeper into these Mindfulness Tools for Stress Relief at our in-person Women's Wellness Retreat, Thrive Together, on May 6-9, 2022 in Santa Rosa Plateau, CA with Michelle Chua.